Where You Lead, I Will Follow

Hey Zeteo Community!

I was not at the last Zeteo event, and so, I have asked a few other people to fill in for me with the blog this month. I was very sad to miss it but am excited to hear what others have to say about what they took home from Father Roger's talk on every day discernment. 

This week is written by Brielle Waldner, and I hope you all enjoy it. Kudos to anyone who caught the Gilmore Girls reference in the title.

God bless,
Olivia

Week 1: Where You Lead, I Will Follow

When I was a little girl we went to the Canadian Finals Rodeo every November. It was a big event - we would go to the trade fair, wander around the farm fair, and end the day watching the rodeo in Rexall Place. It was a long day and leaving the stadium way past my bedtime I was always exhausted. I'm sure at times my dad would pick me up and carry me out, but mostly I remember walking behind him through a sea of people, holding his hand, or the back of his shirt. There were people pushing past from all sides, in all directions. We would pass countless doors and tuck into stairwells, the numbers on the wall meaning nothing to me and the street names above the doors of no help, as I never knew where the car was parked. I was little, and all I could really see was a mess of jeans, and cowboy hats, and tired people trying to get home. I could not fathom how my dad could find the way out of that place. Yet I never worried about it, because I trusted him. I knew I would get where I needed to go by holding tightly to his hand and following, one step behind. I never questioned him when he stopped walking because I knew he was waiting for the path to clear. I remember pointing out a door once, pulling him that way, but it was not the door we needed, so I fell back into step behind him. I settled in to keep my gaze fixed on his back, and walk in the path he was clearing for us. I was tired, it was easier to just follow, knowing we'd make it out. Last week I was feeling lost in discernment, I was getting anxious looking for answers of what to do and when. While I was complaining to God about being exhausted and not knowing which door to take, He reminded me that all I have to do is be a little girl again. I just have to cling to Him, keep my gaze fixed on Him, and walk one step behind my heavenly Father. We'll meet each step as we take it, walk through the right doors together, breeze past the wrong ones. Occasionally, we'll have to stop for a minute and wait for the path to clear. I'm not a little girl anymore, I have found my way out of Rexall Place all by myself plenty of times. At work, I walk the fifteen blocks to the swimming pool with a long line of kindergarteners trailing behind me. In the summer, we take the city bus for our field trips and I have to know which bus to get on, and which stop to get off at. It's exhausting sometimes. Always being the one who needs to figure out where to go. I realized I was trying to be the one who knew where to go in my discernment, too. I felt like I needed to find the right doors all the time, and was trying to find the step to take before I was there. It was exhausting. How much easier to fix my gaze on Jesus and walk one step behind Him, trusting that when I do need to stop, or change directions, or go through a door, He will show me. At Zeteo on Friday, Fr. Roger talked about the steps we can take to better hear God's voice. The first one will not surprise you. . . it is that we need to pray. How can I know the voice of God above the noise of the crowd if I do not get to know His voice in the quiet? How will I know His desires for me if I don't spend time getting to know Him? In the same way, that we get to know our friends, our family, our spouses, we need to get to know our Father. We need to cling to Him, draw ourselves as close to Him as we can so that He is walking with us, leading the way. We can point to doors we see, ask if that is the one we are supposed to go through, but we need to trust that if it is the wrong one He will guide us back in line behind Him. It is something I have heard so often that it almost goes in one ear and out the other: if you want to hear the voice of God then talk to Him. Pray. Listen. On that note, Happy Father's Day. To all the dad's, all the priests who lead us in the image of the Father, and to all those who are preparing their hearts for whichever vocation the Father will lead you to. Thank you to all of you, especially my own dad, for being images of our Father's love for us.