Where You Lead, I Will Follow

Hey Zeteo Community!

I was not at the last Zeteo event, and so, I have asked a few other people to fill in for me with the blog this month. I was very sad to miss it but am excited to hear what others have to say about what they took home from Father Roger's talk on every day discernment. 

This week is written by Brielle Waldner, and I hope you all enjoy it. Kudos to anyone who caught the Gilmore Girls reference in the title.

God bless,
Olivia

Week 1: Where You Lead, I Will Follow

When I was a little girl we went to the Canadian Finals Rodeo every November. It was a big event - we would go to the trade fair, wander around the farm fair, and end the day watching the rodeo in Rexall Place. It was a long day and leaving the stadium way past my bedtime I was always exhausted. I'm sure at times my dad would pick me up and carry me out, but mostly I remember walking behind him through a sea of people, holding his hand, or the back of his shirt. There were people pushing past from all sides, in all directions. We would pass countless doors and tuck into stairwells, the numbers on the wall meaning nothing to me and the street names above the doors of no help, as I never knew where the car was parked. I was little, and all I could really see was a mess of jeans, and cowboy hats, and tired people trying to get home. I could not fathom how my dad could find the way out of that place. Yet I never worried about it, because I trusted him. I knew I would get where I needed to go by holding tightly to his hand and following, one step behind. I never questioned him when he stopped walking because I knew he was waiting for the path to clear. I remember pointing out a door once, pulling him that way, but it was not the door we needed, so I fell back into step behind him. I settled in to keep my gaze fixed on his back, and walk in the path he was clearing for us. I was tired, it was easier to just follow, knowing we'd make it out. Last week I was feeling lost in discernment, I was getting anxious looking for answers of what to do and when. While I was complaining to God about being exhausted and not knowing which door to take, He reminded me that all I have to do is be a little girl again. I just have to cling to Him, keep my gaze fixed on Him, and walk one step behind my heavenly Father. We'll meet each step as we take it, walk through the right doors together, breeze past the wrong ones. Occasionally, we'll have to stop for a minute and wait for the path to clear. I'm not a little girl anymore, I have found my way out of Rexall Place all by myself plenty of times. At work, I walk the fifteen blocks to the swimming pool with a long line of kindergarteners trailing behind me. In the summer, we take the city bus for our field trips and I have to know which bus to get on, and which stop to get off at. It's exhausting sometimes. Always being the one who needs to figure out where to go. I realized I was trying to be the one who knew where to go in my discernment, too. I felt like I needed to find the right doors all the time, and was trying to find the step to take before I was there. It was exhausting. How much easier to fix my gaze on Jesus and walk one step behind Him, trusting that when I do need to stop, or change directions, or go through a door, He will show me. At Zeteo on Friday, Fr. Roger talked about the steps we can take to better hear God's voice. The first one will not surprise you. . . it is that we need to pray. How can I know the voice of God above the noise of the crowd if I do not get to know His voice in the quiet? How will I know His desires for me if I don't spend time getting to know Him? In the same way, that we get to know our friends, our family, our spouses, we need to get to know our Father. We need to cling to Him, draw ourselves as close to Him as we can so that He is walking with us, leading the way. We can point to doors we see, ask if that is the one we are supposed to go through, but we need to trust that if it is the wrong one He will guide us back in line behind Him. It is something I have heard so often that it almost goes in one ear and out the other: if you want to hear the voice of God then talk to Him. Pray. Listen. On that note, Happy Father's Day. To all the dad's, all the priests who lead us in the image of the Father, and to all those who are preparing their hearts for whichever vocation the Father will lead you to. Thank you to all of you, especially my own dad, for being images of our Father's love for us.

1John 4:17

Hey Zeteo Community!

After a little (okay long) break from the blog, I am back! Benedict is already two months old, and has been to two Zeteos already. Where does the time go?

Hope to see many of you at the Zeteo tonight, which will be the last one of the summer. Finishing off with a bang for the year with Father Roger Rouleau speaking on Everyday Discernment - a topic I am personally very excited for.

Week 1: 1 John 4:17

I started praying this morning, and then Jerome came into our room with no diaper on and pooped on the floor right by the bed. (Yep, the glamorous life of a mother.) Needless to say, I dealt with that first and did not end up finishing my prayer until twelve hours later.

At the last Zeteo event, Deacon Ken and Marlane spoke about how we need to embrace our circumstances, which can sometimes be compared to hugging a cactus. This morning, my cactus to hug was a floor-poop instead of starting the day with prayer like I had planned. In that moment, I had to admit to God that I would not be able to finish praying, but if He gave me grace in dealing with an un-graceful situation I could come to Him in a different way. If we are able to own up to the truth of who we are and what we have to contend with, we can experience so much growth in our relationship with Christ.

The topic of the last event was the Real Person of Jesus. Deacon Ken and Marlane Noster spoke about how we can come to know Jesus personally, the beginning of this journey being that we come to accept who we truly are. It is only then we can come to our relationship with Christ in openness and honesty.

Jesus chooses to present Himself to us in different ways, and we need to learn how to accept Him for who He truly is - just as He accepts us for who we truly are. As the Nosters said, Jesus is always both justice and mercy, though we tend to focus more on justice as it puts emphasis on our merit, or what we feel we deserve.

However, we need to reverse this idea that we can earn anything, for of that we're the case, we would be out of luck entirely. The truth is, we cannot and we do not need to earn goodness in our lives. Jesus does not love us because of anything we do, His love is not conditional as human love tends to be. He is the Father of Mercy, and we are far more valuable to Him than anything we could ever do to deserve this value. It is through His mercy alone that we receive and experience goodness, for we are already good enough for everything He wants to give us.

A question that came to my mind, and I'm sure it was there for many of you as well, is that, if we can do nothing to earn mercy, why do we bother to pray, or do good in our lives? If we are not trying to earn anything, what is the point? It seemed to me as if we were still going about it all wrong.

The answer came to me in a rather roundabout way. Tharin and I are in the midst of moving and selling our house. It is stressful because we really need to sell, and as a result, I was grappling with all kinds of fears. Will we sell in time? Will we lose the chance to buy the house I love because it is taking too long to sell this house? And on and on.

Then out of nowhere came the Bible verse, "there is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out all fear." 1 John 4:17. Since that day, I have been pondering those words, what it means to have perfect love, in my heart. Perfect love of Christ drives out all fear because if we have perfect love of Christ we are in unity with Him and with His will - therefore having no fear of anything the world, or sin, can try to throw at us. If we have perfect love of Christ we do not fear punishment, and so we can boldly hope for heaven.

Now, perfect love of Christ is not something we can attain on our own. No, like any true courtship, it takes spending time in communication with the other person, listening to and getting to know them, spending time together, and doing things that make them happy.

And so we must pray, fast, take part in the Sacraments, and lead moral lives in all aspects, for it is only then that we can learn to truly love Christ. When we love Christ and enter into unity with Him, we are so much more capable of receiving the goodness and blessings He had reserved for us. We do not earn His love, but we can learn to be more receptive to it.