I hope all of you are having a beautiful December. This Sunday, we were in mass and I realized it was already the third Sunday of Advent. I am not sure about the rest of you, but as a kid, I remember how long Advent seemed - by the time it was the third Sunday of Advent, I felt like Advent had already lasted a year.
Because the last Zeteo event was a dance, and we did not have a teaching, I have decided let the Lord inspire the posts through the Bible readings and reflections I will be reading over the next month, and see where that takes us.
So it happens that I am posting a blog post on a Monday for the first time ever. The Lord likes to work outside of our conventions.
God bless,
Olivia
Week One: Master Potter
"More [deceitful] than all else is the human heart, beyond remedy; who can understand it? I, the Lord, alone probe the mind and test the heart, to reward everyone according to his ways." Jeremiah 17: 9-10
Today, and this is an ongoing struggle for me, I was feeling like I am missing out an important aspect of my life, of what would give me purpose. Everything I do feels very small, very monotonous. Automatically, this got me thinking that I need to discover a way to make my life more adventurous, more exciting - after all, poopy diapers and cleaning the bathroom are the farthest things from exciting.
As I was cleaning up from lunch, the Lord spoke softly to me. "Is having a relationship with me so small, Olivia?"
Many of the saints did great things: fought wars, physically battled the devil, were teachers and evangelists. But many simply lived their lives for Christ, every moment a chance to sacrifice, every action an opportunity to pray. One of the greatest examples of this little way is the life of saint Therese of Lisieux.
My heart is deceitful, like every human heart, and has desires that are contrary to the desires of Christ. When I rely on my own heart, I become confused by false hopes, desires, and promises for peace that are not what Christ has planned for me. Even though it is my heart, I am actually incapable of understanding it or of seeing it clearly, for God alone can understand my heart, as it says in Jeremiah.
Just as it was the Lord's desire for Saint Therese to live a simple life - a life that lead to sainthood because it followed the will of the Lord, so too, must I accept that God may be calling me to sainthood in this simple, monotonous, sacrificial life.
It is deceitful for my heart to desire anything different than what the Lord wants of me, as I know that only by following His way, will I be lead to joy. As a reflection on Jeremiah 18 I was reading earlier today summed up: God is the potter, and we are the clay. Foolish as it would be for the clay to question the potter over his design, so it is foolish for us to dispute with God over how He is fashioning us.
If I am the clay, and my life is God's way of forming me into His perfect design for me, who am I to question if I am taking the shape of a simple bowl instead of something bigger and more important? Who am I to question the Master Potter, to not trust that He is making the most beautiful bowl imaginable?
The highest purpose of my life, and the purpose of every human life, is to find and develop a relationship with Christ. God is calling me to find that relationship with Him here, amidst the diapers and the cups of coffee and the baby climbing up my leg. Is that purpose really so small? Is heaven so small?
Hello again! Apparently I decided to take a few-weeks hiatus from writing the blog, but here I am. Hopefully I was not too terribly missed, (;. (Is it cheesy to use computer faces on here? Probably. I am a mom now, I am allowed to get a little cheesy.)
Please enjoy the post for today. If you have any questions, comments, stories to add, I would love to hear from you.
God bless you all!
Olivia Fischer
Week 1: Be Still
I am surprised, over and over again, how well the experiences in my life tend to correspond with the theme of the previous Zeteo, and so, the blog posts I am meant to write.
On Monday, I had a really productive day. I had a huge todo list, and I ended up accomplishing every last thing on it. However, I sat down at the end of the day, and I had the feeling that I was missing something. With all I had accomplished, I still felt there was something I had forgotten.
Then someone posted this:
God speaking to me through social media, yet again. Every time I encounter these words, I think of God saying in Psalm 46:10 : "Be still and know that I am God." At the last Zeteo event, our first speaker was a consecrated single person from Madonna House named Janet. She handed us all a copy of the mandate of Madonna House. It is really very simple, and really very beautiful.
At one point, she asked us all to close our eyes, and to listen to the words as she read them aloud. If any of the words stood out to us, she asked that we underline them.
Arise — go! Sell all you possess. Give it directly, personally to the poor. Take up My cross (their cross) and follow Me, going to the poor, being poor, being one with them, one with Me.
Little — be always little! Be simple, poor, childlike.
Preach the Gospel with your life — without compromise! Listen to the Spirit. He will lead you.
Do little things exceedingly well for love of Me.
Love... love... love, never counting the cost.
Go into the marketplace and stay with Me. Pray, fast. Pray always, fast.
Be hidden. Be a light to your neighbour’s feet. Go without fear into the depth of men’s hearts. I shall be with you.
Pray always. I will be your rest.
I think different parts of the mandate would stand out for different people in different walks of faith, however, for me the part that stood out most was do little things exceedingly well for love of Me.
As I sat on Monday evening, the words be still ringing through my mind, I had a realization. In this day in age, we are bombarded by noise and activity, by the value of always being busy. We are praised for multitasking, and completing todo lists, and moving always forward. At least I feel I am.
My realization was how I never give myself the chance to just be still. Not as an excuse to put my feet up, drink a coffee, and neglect my child and my household duties (not that I do not do this) - but to allow my heart to be still as I accomplish the things God has given me to do.
Instead of feeling frenzied as I try to do everything all at once, failing of course as this is impossible, I have realized how beautiful it is to really focus, and to do my tasks exceedingly well. This way, I find myself much more capable of offering it up as a sacrifice out of love for Christ, and in the end, even if I find I have accomplished much less, I feel at peace.
I know not all of you are stay-at-home moms, so your busyness will look a lot different than mine. However, I think that we all need to add a little more stillness to our lives - even with a packed schedule. If we are more deliberate about being still, I believe God will bless us, multiplying our time so that we are never lacking.
The Catholic Church puts a lot of emphasis on being small, and doing everything with love. What does that really look like for us as Catholics? Today, for me, it looked like scrubbing a stubborn pan with patience, offering it up for my intentions. In a moment which would have had me irritated and frenzied a week ago, I found stillness and peace and, yes, God.
Today was a very long day with a very grumpy one-year-old, do not ask me why I am still up. The blog today is short and sweet, thank you for stopping by.
I hope to see many of you at the Zeteo event tomorrow, with members of the Marian and Saint Vincent dePaul societies teaching us about Serving the Poor. I am not sure about the rest of you, but generosity seems to be popping up everywhere these days - I am sure it will be a much needed teaching on my part.
Week 4: Obedience
I had something really vivid happen in a dream a few weeks ago. We had played music at an event, and afterward I was asked, "How do you praise God that way if you don't have the love?" I said, "I do not have the love, but I do have the obedience. I will continue in obedience until I have the love."
In my last Zeteo blog, I wrote about being in a dry spell. Soon after, I started reading a book called A Mother's Rule of Life. This book speaks about ordering my vocation - for my life as a wife and mother is truly my vocation, so that I may serve God in it. It helped me to realize the fruits that can come out of this period of desolation I have been experiencing.
The book explains how law precedes love. As Catholics, we are called to follow the laws of the Church, to refrain from sin, and to practice disciplines. Ultimately, we should do these things out of love for Christ, however, this is often not the case. As I am experiencing right now, sometimes we lack the love and Christ asks us to follow Him simply out of obedience. Eventually, this obedience will help us to grow in love.
The author describes being in a dry spell herself, and gives an analogy from Saint John of the Cross comparing our faith journey to a burning log. When it is first lit - when we are first filled with passion for our faith, the log takes a little while to ignite, but when it does it goes up with a big spark, a big flame. After a while, the fire dies down and seems to have gone out, just as our passion for our faith inevitably seems to. However, we know just because we cannot see raging flame, the log is still on fire, it has simply penetrated the interior of the log.
My faith is interior right now. Instead of feeling extremely motivated and on fire for my faith, I feel God is working inside of me, in small and less flashy ways. Slowly but surely, I am learning to serve Him out of obedience - a lesson I know to be valuable, just as it is painful.
In a way, I am grateful for this period of discipline, as I know God often uses the most difficult times in our lives to bring us to the greatest blessing.
Hope you enjoy the blog for today. God bless the rest of your weeks, and all your travels this weekend.
Peace!
Olivia
Week 3: Seeds of the Logos
At the last Zeteo event, Louis Rouleau explained that we need to have a generosity and openness of Spirit in regards to people of other religions. As I wrote about in this blog, any attempt to understand the truth of our existence is good because it is a religious instinct.
Nostra Aetate is a doctrine that came out of the Second Vatican Council that revolutionized the way the Catholic Church responded to other religions. This document prompts Catholics not to discriminate those of other religions, but instead, to be at peace with all people so as to be like Christ.
Saint Justin Martyr was a theologian during the time of Christian persecution in the Roman Empire. He took an ancient theory, that of the logos, and applied it to Christ. Many philosophers before him had spoken about the logos, this idea of the logos often referred to reason or the word, and claimed that Christ was the height of reason, the living Word. Saint Justin theorized that these philosophers were Christian's without realizing it - as Christ had not yet come, because they had devoted their lives to seeking truth, and in many instances had found pieces of it.
Saint Justin was before his time in respecting the attempts non-believers to explain reality, and in distinguishing truth in other religions and philosophies. It was not until the Second Vatican Council that Christians were encouraged to engage in theological discussions with non-Christians, and to recognize truth outside of Christianity. In Nostra Aetate, Christians were ensured that wherever there is truth and goodness, there is Christ - as Saint Justin had believed long before.
As described by Louis, this explains the somewhat complicated teaching of the Catholic church on the salvation of non-believers. A sincere non-believer can be saved, even if he never accepted Jesus fully in faith, if he has truly searched for truth and goodness. Of course, the Catholic Church emphasizes that Jesus, as Louis put it, is the sole mediator of salvation. This truth is expressed in Acts 4:12, Salvation is found in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given to mankind by which we must be saved.
So it is, that in this complicated day, we are encouraged to cling to the fullness of truth that is our Catholic faith, while also respecting the various other religions and practices that surround us. It seems unfortunate to me that, as Christians, we are called to be at peace with all people, when so often we are seen as people that are judgemental, discriminatory, or prejudiced.
It is difficult to see the corruption in the world and not feel that the world is being taken over by untruths. However, it is true now, and has forever been, that there are seeds of truth all around us, and it is our duty as Christians to be as Christ, and love first.
The newest Zeteo post is up for the week, written by Brad Weinberger, a new face to the blog. Please give it a read. I found it very inspiring, and always enjoy reading the insights of other people that have attended the Zeteo events. Often, the different point of view sheds light on things I may have missed.
God bless you all,
Olivia
Week 2: Humble Pie
I’ll admit it, ok. When I heard Louis Rouleau introduce the topic for his talk as “world religions”, I immediately had an idea what I was interested in hearing about and knew the questions I wanted to ask a fellow expert. Sure this was my first Zeteo, and I told myself I had come with an open mind for what God had in store for me, but this was a topic I knew something about. How could I not have all these opinions? I read about ISIS and their brutality. I had seen the in depth articles on how the Muslim governments new laws in Pakistan are affecting cow farmers. And don’t get me started on Israel, the perennial hotbed of religious tension surrounding the holy land and its settlements. I just couldn’t wait for Louis to finish so I could grill him with some hard hitting questions, to flex my vast understanding of the subject and see if he agreed with me.
When I opened myself to what God had in store, it didn’t occur to me that the dessert for the evening was going to be a giant slice of humble pie. Where Louis took the discussion was so much higher than I had been thinking it could go. Especially his emphasis on the seeds of the logos, the idea that wherever there is truth, there is God. I had let the media be the lens in which I understood other religions and people, and in doing so, completely lost the sense of humanity and the eternal search for the mystery, that which we long for, God.
Looking back on that evening, there are two things that really stuck with me. Two concrete things that can help transform me into a better disciple of Jesus, which I am called to be.
First, how often do my prejudices and preconceived notions about a culture/religion cloud any interaction I might have with a person of another faith? Do I let them speak and do I listen, I mean really listen, before I respond? I often find I’m lining up my response to someone before they’ve even finished speaking or letting their religious attire be the only colour I paint them with, as if it in itself can tell me everything I need to know about the person. How much does overcoming the prejudice add to the already steep learning curve of adapting to life in a new place?
Second, do I care enough to love them first and understand their own search for God before condemning them or their practices? I have to really thank my daughter, Eden, for reminding that I too, am a child. Yes a father and a husband, but I was a child first. When I take Eden out, all she knows is what I’ve taught her. She can’t know all about the rules and customs, the understanding another child at the library or park. She never ceases to amaze me how easily she finds a new friend though.
Similarly, often others, and myself if I’m honest, only know the religion and culture they’ve been taught. I may even be like a child in my understanding of others my whole life. I don’t have to be the adult who pretends to know everything. I can be that child who loves first. A recent gospel reading from Mark, 10:21, starts out “Jesus looked at him and loved him”, before getting into specifics. This must be my approach as well as I encounter the people God puts in my path.
Louis’ talk covered much more than this I know, including how religions are diverse and complex, how they differ in their primacy of either doctrine or form, and how any attempt to understand reality is at its heart a religious impulse. However, if I can’t first be present and open to the person I encounter, and love them right where they are at, I can’t ever understand the deeper realities of their religious world view and personal experience of God in their lives. I, a sinner, fail at these all the time and God still calls me to keep seeking to grow in this area.
Maybe I’ll run into you someday on your journey and we can chat about your religious experience over coffee? Oh, and a slice of humble pie too please.
Again, it is late on Thursday, and I am just finishing the post for this week. The explanation is part of the blogpost today, so please give it a read.
I hope you are all having a fantastic and productive week. Enjoy the weekend!
God bless,
Olivia Fischer
Week 1: I Stand at the Door and Knock
I am not going to lie, writing the blog this week felt more tedious than usual. My faith life is going through a bit of a dry spell right now, it seems I can never find the time to pray. My days are filled up with keeping a one-year-old alive, and trying to keep the house in some semblance of order as he goes behind me and pulls everything right out again.
It is times like this in my life, I love how Catholic my Facebook feed is. The other day, a friend of mine posted this status: "Don't say, 'I don't have time to pray,' for, if we're honest, we always find time for that which we love: social media, television, waiting in line for coffee... and sin. From now on, be honest and say, 'I don't have the love to pray.' And then tell our Lord that, and plead with him for that love." - Victory
At the time I was sitting on the couch, on my phone, drinking a tea. I know a day does not pass without me checking Facebook, spending time on my phone, wasting time watching an episode of Friends. However, when I am feeling far from God, as I do now, it is easy for me to go weeks without structured prayer. I am wanting of the love that is required to pray and to seek the Lord.
Louis Rouleau delivered a powerful teaching at the last Zeteo on how we, as Christians, are meant relate to other religions. He quoted a wise man, Father Giussani, with saying: "all life is fundamentally religious. We are all constituted by a set of needs - for truth, freedom, goodness, beauty, justice, with which we explore the mystery of existence. Any attempt to understand this mystery is good, because it is a religious impulse."
Christianity, as Louis mentioned, makes a singular and radical claim about this elusive mystery. Through Jesus Christ becoming man, the mystery enters history, as is written in 1 John 1: 2-3. "[this we proclaim concerning the Word of life.] The life appeared; we have seen it and testify to it, and we proclaim to you the eternal life, which was with the Father and has appeared to us."
We do not have to seek an unreachable mystery anymore, for Jesus Christ came personally to find us. I have faith in this truth, and believe in the Bible verse we have all heard in some form or another. "'Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and will dine with him, and he with Me." Revelation 3: 20
So how do I still feel He is far from me? How do I still lack the love to let Him into my daily life?
Louis answered this question with this simple statement: "Our ability to perceive Christ as the answer [to the mystery of existence] depends on the question of how important the religious impulse is to us." He explained that the more sensitive we are to our need for truth, freedom, goodness, beauty and justice, the more capable we are of discerning Jesus as the answer.
I have become desensitized to the mystery - as I think many of us have, in the grind of daily life. This does not diminish my need for these religious impulses, but results in a sort of "nose-to-the-grindstone" mentality that makes it difficult for me to truly appreciate the beauty, the goodness, the truth of everyday moments.
My daily life is not a burden - the diapers, the relentless housework, the baby clinging to my leg as I try to make supper, all of these are meant to lead me to the mystery. These are my small reality, and it is through them, that I am called to seek what is beautiful, good, and truthful. It is through them I am called to seek Christ. It is unfortunate the very things which are meant to lead me to Christ often end up distracting me from seeking Him at all.
I know how important a structured prayer-life is, and for this I will continue to strive. However, I have come to realize I need to abandon myself to the mystery, to seeking the truth of my existence. I am small in the realm of reality, but I am not insignificant, my search is not in vain. Christ is standing at the door - should I chose to look outside my flawed scope of reality, I would find Him there.
The next Zeteo event is tomorrow. I am not sure about the rest of you, but this past month has absolutely sped by. Having a one-year-old will do that to your time, I suppose. I hope to see many of you there tomorrow, even though it is a holiday weekend.
Here is the newest Zeteo in Action post. If you have any questions, concerns, thoughts, insights, stories, or anything else to add, I would be happy to hear from you.
God bless!
Olivia Fischer
Week 4: Freewill
The other day, a friend of mine posted the picture below on Facebook. Ever since I read it, it has been on my mind, especially the line "... for our freedom has the power to make choices forever, with no turning back." (CCC 1861)
Freewill has always troubled me. When I found out about it as a child, I wondered why God had possibly given us so much power. Why would he have ever given us the ability to chose not to love Him, and end up in hell - it seemed so cruel to me.
As a mother, I have a little bit of a different perspective. While I have long understood why we have freewill, the love of my child has altered that knowledge. Jerome is one year old now, and he can willingly chose who he wants to be with, if he wants to hug me, if he wants nothing to do with me. While he does - though I know it is silly, have the ability to hurt my feelings, I understand the importance of when he does chose to show me love, and it is so much more precious because of that choice.
There have been many times in my life where I have felt that choice to do what I know is Gods will in a situation, or the opposite. It is easier to chose the opposite, because we tend to forget how much turning our back on God hurts Him. I once heard that God is always waiting for us, as in the tabernacle of the church, and every time we chose not to turn to Him, it pierces His heart. Our free will is in no way a cruelty to us, as I believed as a child. As explained in the Catechism, CCC 1730, free will is given to us as the dignity of our person, so that we may be able to seek our Creator of our own accord.
Freewill of course, is governed by truth that is far beyond man's understanding. God gave us freewill so that we could be rational beings, as He is. However, we need to turn to Him and His truth, in order to know what is good and what is evil. It reminds me of the story, which Michael Chiasson mentioned, of Peter walking on water. Peter gets out of the boat, and begins to walk toward Jesus. It is only when Peter looks away from Jesus, that he becomes incredulous of his ability to walk on water, and he begins to sink.
We are unable to know good from evil on our own, and if God had left us to figure it out alone, that probably would have been cruel. However, He gave us the perfect example of love, as well as the Holy Spirit, for us to fix our eyes on. He is a personal God, one we can choose to have a close and intimate relationship with - it is only when we take our eyes away that we lose sight and begin to sink.
The Catechism, CCC 1721, speaks of freewill as being a "force for growth and maturity in truth and goodness; it attains perfection when directed toward God, our beatitude." In choosing good over evil, we become ever more mature in our faith and, the Catechism says, we become more free. For in fact, choosing sin negates our freedom and leads us to the "slavery of sin." (CCC 1733)
In a way, freewill is a grand test of our character. As Michael Chiasson challenged at the last Zeteo, "what we do reflects our belief, and eventually our true selves will always show through. Are we okay with that person?" Through freewill we are given the ability to choose each action, and this will always reflect who we truly are - someone who seeks heaven, or by default, the opposite.
Hope you are having a great week! I'm back writing the blog this week - I hope you enjoyed reading what Brielle had to say last week! If you are interested in adding to the blog, please contact me.
God bless,
Olivia Fischer
Week 2:
At the last Zeteo event, Michael Chiasson discussed vision and how it takes bold and great faith. Vision in faith is vital, in fact, Proverbs 29:18 says that: Where there is no vision, the people perish. As I have mentioned in the past few blogs, spiritual discernment is an important part of our walk in faith, because it is through spiritual discernment that we are able to develop vision.
We gain a clearer vision as we grow in spiritual maturity and knowledge of Christ, as is explained in this blog. This vision allows us to see what we desire to accompany us in our walk with Christ, as well as what Christ desires for us.
In Michael Chiassons talk, he spoke about the army of Gideon. Upon researching this story, I realized there was so much more to it than a man leading a tiny army to victory - although this is an amazing part to the story, which I will be coming back to. Gideon was a poor farmer, but he had a bold faith. When the angel appeared to him proclaiming that God was with the Israelites, Gideon questioned him, according to Judges 6:13, saying, "if the Lord is with us, why has all of this happened to us? Where are his wondrous deeds, of which our fathers told us. [...] For now the Lord has abandoned us into the power of Midian."
When the Lord promised Gideon that He would be with him and lead him to victory, Gideon responded in humility, arguing that he was small and insignificant. However, the Lord assured Gideon that He had blessed and chosen him, and Gideon trusted.
Gideon rallies an army of thirty-two thousand men to fight the Midianites, and God asks him to trust by paring this army down. The men who admit to being afraid were sent home, and Gideon was left with an army of eleven thousand men. Again, God asks Gideon to decrease his numbers, and Gideon trusts - until he is left with an army of only three hundred men. With this army, Gideon conquers the Midianities.
Now, why would God so radically ask Gideon to go against the Midianite army with so few men?
He wanted the victory to undeniably be attributed to Him, for the Israelites to see the glory of God through it, instead of the glory of Gideon's army. This is a remarkable example of how much bigger God's vision is, compared to ours. Gideon and the Israelites were praying for freedom from Midian tyranny, but God orchestrated a period of true peace for the Israelities in turning them away from their idols and back to Him.
If God had told Gideon from the beginning he would be asked to conquer the Midianite army with only three hundred men, I am sure Gideon would have had a difficulty trusting. God, in His wisdom, allows Gideon to see only a small part of the picture - just one step of the staircase at a time.
We might ask God for the big picture, and feel we are capable of dealing with the entire vision, but the truth is, we often have difficulty enough with the small steps. Vision, to see what God desires for us, requires bold faith: it often means taking steps without seeing the entire staircase, and trusting that He will bring us safely every step of the way. Much like the bridge I spoke about in this post, God is walking with us every step of the way.
Sometimes, even the small steps seem too big for us, be it that He asks us to move, to start a new ministry, to continue being single, though we desire to be married. If God has placed something before us, however, we can only trust He will guide us through, that He will provide, that we are capable, because the God who calls us is infinitely capable. Trusting in God takes humility, as He required of Gideon, to say we are incapable of climbing - of winning the war against all the odds, without Him. He wants to be an undeniable part of our victory.
Truthfully, He already is an undeniable part of our victory. As Michael Chiasson pointed out, our track record for making it through seemingly impossible situations is already one hundred percent. I would say that is pretty good odds in favour of trusting the Great Orchestrator to lead us through.
Hello Zeteo community, I hope your week is going well, and you're taking in all the beautiful Autumn colours while they make their fleeting appearance. Olivia sits at the Zeteo events and writes furious, thorough notes, for this. The writer that she is, she prepares. I, however, just got a phone call today while I was sitting in Boston Pizza. Could you write the Zeteo blog this week? I think you're supposed to. Next time, I will take notes. Thank you for reading, Brielle Waldner Week 1: Stay the Course We were blessed to have Michael Chiasson speak for the last Zeteo event, and I remember it being really powerful. I also remember him saying we forget 90% of every talk we listen to, but the tiny sliver that we remember, is all we need to hear. The words he spoke, that I heard loud and clear, were S T A Y the COURSE. This is such a universal message, we can all hear it and find room for it somewhere in our lives, but it was especially powerful for me that night. Olivia and I have always found that the events we have most needed to be at, the Searches, the Live-In's, the Family Life Conferences, whatever it may be, we face resistance getting to. There is always a battle, a lack of desire to go, a snow storm, something getting in the way. Those are always the events, the moments, that turn out to be the most powerful in our lives. My resistance that night came in the form of a car accident. I could have turned around with my car that had been crumpled up in the corner like a pop can, but I went anyway. Stay the course.
(Was that meant to be a segway or what?)
What is your course? What prayer is God asking you to pray boldly? And further, to boldly believe He will answer for you? Where is He asking you to walk boldy? Those are the questions that I was asking myself while Michael was talking. Those are the questions I challenge you to ask yourself, and God, now. Go on. Take a minute. I'll be here when you're done.... Back? Did you figure it out? Or are you still having doubts on what that course actually is? That's where I was at. But I saw a quote on Pinterest the other day that said this: Never does the Bible say figure it out, but over and over it says trust in God. Which is comforting to me, and true.
As I sat there wondering what my bold course was to travel, Michael kept talking. "Who here has ever prayed a bold prayer, over and over, the same prayer?" I have. "Maybe you're sitting there desperately wanting to get married, and you keep asking God, and it's just not happening."I was. God pulled those exact words out of my head. They were there. Exactly what I had been thinking. But I doubted that was a bold enough course. That was not living my faith boldly like someone who is called to cure an incurable disease in Africa while bringing thousands of souls to God in the process. However, I know that is not my calling. Sometimes staying the course is a waiting game. Sometimes it is watching other people get married, or cure diseases, or convert souls, or do missionary work in far corners of the world, while we are called to wait, to be patient.
So I am patient to staying the course, even though it looks like the path on right, and I want it to look like the path on the left. Sometimes living a bold faith, I think, is boldly trusting that God is working, that He is moving, when we cannot see it. Trusting God is answering our prayers, guiding out lives, even when it does not look like what we thought it would look like. As Michael said, "we only see what is on our radar, but our radar screen is much too small. We have to trust in God's plan, because He has such a bigger view than we do."
My boldest prayer is for my husband, which is honestly hard to admit. It is the hardest prayer for me, but it is the one most heavy on my heart - God is calling me to stay the course. Stay the course. To trust that those prayers I have prayed so many times, are being answered, and not ignored. To trust that one day I will find the right person to dance with in our kitchen and I will laugh that it was ever a challenge to trust we would find our way to each other. That is a bold thing for me to believe after so many years. That is the place in my life God is calling me to be bold. What is yours, big or small? What is it? We are all not called to walk the same path, or built to carry the same crosses. I pray this week that God would give you the strength to walk your own path boldly. That His love would flood and overwhelm you, and His grace would lead you to a peace you never thought you could reach. Amen.
The next Zeteo event is just a day away! We are gearing up for a night of praise and worship, followed by a teaching given by Michael Chiasson. And we hope to see many of you there. If you have not already marked it on your calendars, please do! You will not regret taking two hours to come spend time with us, and our Lord, at Zeteo.
God bless,
Olivia Fischer
Week Four - The Daily Examen
I want to start the blog today by saying that my prayer-life is far from perfect. There are many days I forget my daily prayer, and it is a constant recommittal for me to continue reading my Bible regularly and having a personal relationship. That being said, of course I am always striving to be better, to be more structured, and to refocus.
This past week, I had made the promise to try the daily examen of Saint Ignatius Loyola in my daily prayer life. I missed a few days, but found the days that I did follow this daily examen quite fruitful.
Father Carlos mentioned the daily examen in his talk on the armour of God. He kept reiterating the importance of daily prayer, and mentioned this specific kind of prayer. Saint Ignatius Loyola is quoted with saying: if you lose all other prayer life, chose to love the daily examen.
The daily examen consists of five steps, which gives you the opportunity to pray in the four different ways outlined in the Baltimore Catechism. These are: adoration - to express our love and loyalty to God, thanksgiving, to ask pardon for our sins, petition and intercession for our needs and the needs of others. I find it easiest to incorporate petition and thanksgiving in my daily prayer life, while I often neglect to adore and intercede for others. I found it helpful to have an outline to follow that allowed me to grow in these areas; sometimes it is useful to have a structure to follow in our prayer-life to make it more mature.
The first of the steps in the daily examen is explained by Loyola Press as stillness. Think of when you felt God's presence throughout your day, and how he shows His love for you. Allow the Holy Spirit to fill your heart, and draw you into an encounter with God. I found it interesting that this week I discovered the song Holy Spirit by Francesca Battistelli. I spent much of the week with a line from this song stuck permanently in my head, and so I went around singing it over and over. "Holy Spirit you are welcome here, come flood this place and fill the atmosphere." As I sang this everywhere I went, it stunned me with the realization that, while I often welcome the Holy Spirit and feel His presence during Adoration or prayer at retreats, I rarely welcome His presence during my daily life. Welcoming the presence of the Holy Spirit into my time of daily prayer helped my prayer to come alive.
I have a hard time just being in stillness with God, it is difficult to drown out the noise around and inside of us. When I have been able to rest in the presence of God in silence, I have experienced a profound kind of awareness. Not that His voice has ever come booming through the silence, but in the absence of outside voices, I have been able to hear His still small voice assuring me of his blessing, of his faithfulness, of his love. This is a very valuable type of prayer to practice, and with practice, we become more capable of finding and appreciating this stillness with God.
The second step in the daily examen is to express thanksgiving. Father Carlos mentioned it in a beautiful way: we need to realize our gifts, and then see our Giver through them. Allow yourself to just open up your heart to thankfulness, and you will be surprised by the memories of the day that will spring to your mind. I remember to thank God everyday for the blessing of my marriage, and my son, but am less likely to be thankful for the gift of music, a specific song, or even the cup of coffee I enjoyed that morning.
Next, it is important to reflect on your day, to single out how you responded to God's will. These will usually be small moments in which you were called to grow in love, and charity. For me, these moments often revolve around Jerome or Tharin, as they are the people I spend most of my days with. Was I patient with Jerome, did I lovingly change his diaper, was I kind to Tharin and give him the attention he deserves when he speaks to me? The way God calls us to grow in love are sometimes a little strange, such as through changing a diaper, but as Ken Yasinski says, always do the next thing with love, this is how you will discover the fullness of purpose in your life.
Once you have reflected on your day, ask God's forgiveness for the times you failed to follow His prompts to love. I am only briefly explaining these components of the daily examen, if you would like a more in-depth look at this prayer, I suggest checking out this article on Loyola Press, as they will be able to give a more authoritative teaching.
Lastly, it is beneficial to set resolutions for the next day, in which you can endeavour to more perfectly follow God's will. It is during this time that you can petition God to help you to grow in the different areas that He has brought to your attention. Father Carlos mentioned that it is useful to have a prayer journal in which to record insights and thoughts that you may have as you pray. I have kept a prayer journal for quite a few years now, and have found it valuable to be able to look back and remember the things I have gone through, and different epiphanies I have come to over the years. It is also a good opportunity to develop an honest relationship with God.
An important thing to remember as you review your life through the daily examen is that God is not judging or grading your prayer. Do not stress over remembering everything, or doing each step the "right way". Just pray.
I have a desire to develop a more mature prayer-life, that goes beyond the bare minimum that it is easy for me to revert to. Structured prayer, such as the daily examen, can help me to be more focussed and comprehensive in my prayer. Instead of feeling like I was "done" praying after a quick five minutes, the daily examen helped me to incorporate a deeper and more profound prayer-time into my day. I encourage you to find a structured prayer schedule that helps you to grow and strengthen your prayer-life - wether it be the daily examen, or another form of structured prayer. Take a note from Saint Ignatius Loyola, and develop a daily prayer routine that you truly love. I know that is my goal.
Zeteo is just a week away, please mark it on your calendars. I hope to see many of your smiling faces there!
Just a sidenote, I just finished the post for this week, and realized I still did not have room in this post to talk about the daily reflection of St. Ignatius Loyola. You know what that means, another post next week. And I know, what that means for me.
I have been feeling like it would be hypocritical for me to write about this reflection without first exercising it in my own life. So my mission for this week is to do just that: to use the daily examine in my daily prayer life, and write about it from experience.
God bless,
Olivia Fischer
Week 3: My Grace Is Sufficient For You
Todays blog is going to be short and sweet. I have saved my favourite parts from Father Carlos' talk until last, just like I save my favourite parts of my meal until the last bite.
Father Carlos spoke of how Saint Catherine of Siena implored us to look at our sins only through the Blood of Christ. It is through the Blood of Christ that we are sanctified, as Paul says in Ephesians 1:7, "In him we have redemption by his blood, the forgiveness of transgressions, in accord with the riches of his grace."
As Father Carlos articulated, without the Blood of Christ - through which our sins are already forgiven, our sin is far too depressing. Looking at our sins through the Blood of Christ, like mercy-goggles, we see God's goodness. Instead of seeing our sins coloured by guilt - which I talked about in this blog as a debilitating sin for its capacity to keep us from grace, we see our sinful natures with hope. God can turn all things to good - our tendency toward sin can be an avenue for God to help us to grow.
In fact, my favourite Bible verse talks about sin and grace in a profound way.
"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. So now I am glad to boast about my weakness, so that the power of Christ can work through me." 2 Corinthians 1:9
We can boast in our weakness, not because of arrogance, but because God has promised to work in us. With humility, God's strength can transform our weakness.
At the Family Life Conference, one of the speakers (possibly Scott Hahn) said something that really resounded with me. "Why are we walking around defeated, when He is already victorious?" In my last blog, I spoke about wearing the Armour of God because we are in a daily battle. What does it mean to still be in a battle, if Christ is already victorious?
Catherine of Siena calls Jesus our bridge. This image is both vertical - the bridge carries us over the water that would pull us under, and horizontal - the bridge spans the distance between heaven and earth. The fact that Christ is already victorious means that this bridge is already constructed. However, the river remains, as does our need to complete the journey set before us. The battle rages on: it is our choice to don the Armour of God, to journey with Christ on the bridge, or to drown and not ascend the bridge.
He is already victorious. Why are we walking around defeated, drowning in the river and our weakness?
Now, if God is victorious, if we have the Armour of God, why do we still suffer?
That is a whole other difficult topic I cannot hope to understand well enough to write about at this time. However, we know that we do not suffer alone.
On the cross, Jesus says something that has always confused me until Father Carlos explained His words - "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" Mark 15: 34, this way: Jesus became truly human - he experienced pain, emotion, fear, just as we do. He did not have to suffer, but he did. It is through his suffering we are given the perfect example of how we can suffer. As we journey the bridge with him, he is suffering along with us. His words on the cross were him saying those words with us when we feel desolate.
He has not forsaken us, this we know with assurance. His grace is sufficient for us when we may feel that we are drowning, that we are failing, that we are too guilty for his mercy. The Cross stretches between heaven and earth as a bridge, it is only through his mercy that this bridge exists, we can do nothing to deserve it.
It is arrow pointing us: we know where we come from, and where we are going. As we continue on this journey, this daily battleground, we know we must still endure suffering, though we do not suffer alone. With faith, and trust in our Lord, we know that we will not be overcome, for he is already victorious.
Today is Thursday, although it feels like it must at least be Friday. Hopefully you all are having an amazing week as we close off this year's chapter of summer. It is swelteringly hot here, I am dreaming of the lake we stayed at last week - which we never swan in, as it was rainy and overcast the entire time.
I made the decision to write two blogs each month on the topic of the previous Zeteo. However, Father Carlos' talk was so rich with material, that I feel the need to stretch it into a third post which I will have up next week.
Thank you so much for reading, and following this blog. Please share on your Facebook pages, and leave comments if you found anything particularly interesting, or would like a clarification.
God bless,
Olivia Fischer
Week 2: Living the Armour of God
"Therefore put on the full armour of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace.In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God."
Ephesians 6: 13-17
Those of you who have been to a Search, or spent time with my mom or Tina, have probably heard the term, "Are you naked?" Of course, this does not refer to physical nakedness, but asks the question, "Have you put on the armour of God today?"
For me, putting on the armour of God meant reading off the list: Belt of truth, check. Breastplate of righteousness, check. Footwear of zeal, check. And so forth. If I was feeling particularly motivated that day, it even included reading a prayer I was once given on the armour of God. Just because I forget to mentally equip myself with these pieces of armour each day, does that mean that I am, by default, naked?
Father Carlos challenged my idea of the Armour of God by saying that Saint Maximilian Kolbe wore the armour of God. Does this mean that when he woke up that morning at Auschwitz, he mentally put on the helmet, the belt, the footwear of God? Possibly, but I doubt it. Of course, this mental donning of the armour of God is not a bad reminder, I just challenge a deeper understanding of what God was offering to us when he gave us this armour.
Saint Maximilian Kolbe, like many of the saints, lived the armour of God. Like I mentioned in the last blog, we live each day in a battle arena - this is why we need to be equipped in the armour of God. In Ephesians this battle is explained:
"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power.Put on the full armour of God,so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms."
Ephesians 6: 10-12
We are fighting a battle against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. How can we be soldiers in this battle without the proper armour? At the Family Life Conference we did a skit on the armour of God for the 9-11 year old tent. We sent a guy into a Lacrosse game without the proper equipment - obviously he was unable to play the game properly, and got hurt. Lacrosse has specific equipment, the lacrosse stick, a helmet, guards for your lower back, arms, and shoulders. In order to be successful in this sport, you are going to need to suit up before the game.
God provided us with the proper armour, how are we going to wear it? How are we going to live it as Saint Maximilian Kolbe did?
Living The Armour of God
The first element we are told to put on, is the belt of truth. Satan is called the "father of lies", therefore, we need to combat the deception fed into our lives by knowing truth. Saint Maximilian Kolbe is quoted with saying, "no one in the world can change truth. What we can do, and should do, is seek truth, and when we have found it, to serve it." In order to seek truth as we must, we should read the Bible, and develop a daily prayer-life (which I will talk about in the next blog). Our daily prayer-life should immerse us in our faith - it can include learning about our faith in the Catechism or other religious books, praying the rosary, works of mercy, attending mass regularly - not just on Sundays, fasting, and offering up our sufferings. A life so tuned into our faith will show us truth and shower us with graces.
Secondly, we are told to wear the breastplate of righteousness, of integrity. The breastplate covers our vital organs, our hearts, our lungs. (This article explains the breastplate really well.) We are meant not to rely on our own righteousness, but on the righteousness of God. When His righteousness is protecting our hearts from false love, and our lungs from false air, we develop a purity that translates into how we live our lives; we become more righteous ourselves.
Next we are instructed to have "our feet shod in readiness for the gospel of peace." These shoes help us both defensively - to stand our ground, and offensively - to share the gospel with others. We need to attune ourselves to the Word of Christ, to His voice, so that we can stand firm in truth through temptation, and in our interactions with others. This way, we will not be lead astray, but will continue to walk in goodness. This is going to start sounding a little redundant, but in order to equip ourselves with this footwear, we must ready ourselves by reading the gospel and through our daily prayer-life.
Now we take up the shield of faith to extinguish the fiery darts of the evil one. Hebrews 11: 1 says, "Faith is the realization of what is hoped for and evidence of things not seen." Faith is trusting in the goodness of God and his plan, even when we cannot see - like Noah faithfully building the ark. So many fiery darts are cast at us, leading us to doubt, to despair, to instant gratification that is not true or lasting, making it difficult to see truth. We are called to faith which assures us that God has a plan that demolishes the deception of doubt, despair, or instant gratification, though His way is sometimes hard for us to see or to understand. This is where faith - in things not seen, comes in. We cultivate this kind of faith through reading the bible and praying daily: fixing our eyes on Christ.
The helmet of salvation protects our intellect from corruption. In order to gain this protection we must learn about our faith, through, you guessed it, daily prayer and reading the gospel. This way, our faith permeates our thoughts so that we observe and understand the world through it. The way this articleexplains the helmet of salvation is: As we wear the helmet of salvation every day, our minds become more insulated against the suggestions, desires, and traps the enemy lays for us. We choose to guard our minds from excessive worldly influence and instead think on things that honor Christ (Philippians 4:8).
Lastly is the sword of the spirit which is the Word of the Lord. It seems God was trying to emphasize the importance of the gospel through every piece of the armour, culminating in the sword being the Word of the Lord. The gospel is one of our greatest weapons in this battle arena, not because it is a large book that is good for thumping people with, but because it is the surest way we can find His voice. God desires for us to read, to know, and to love the scriptures - without a love for this greatest of weapons, we are truly naked. Why are Protestants known for being able to quote the bible, with knowing it cover to cover, while Catholics are known for not knowing their way around the bible?
God seems to be repeating, over and over. Read my Word, Read my Word, Read my Word. As Sirach 15: 15 says, "[...] it is loyalty to do his will." So it is that we should be obedient to the will of God: read His Word, and have the greatest of teachers show us how to live the armour He has given us.
In the next blog I am excited to go into detail about something I have been alluding to for the past two weeks, a Saint Ignatius of Loyola reflective way of daily prayer that Father Carlos spoke of. Please come back next week as I go into depth about how we can develop a daily prayer-life that we love.
